Fantasy
by moon71
Summary: Eiri gets more than he bargained for when he asks Shuichi about his secret desires...


**FANTASY by Moon 71**

**SUMMARY: **Eiri asks Shuichi about his most secret desires. He soon wishes he hadn't bothered…

**TIMELINE: **Some unspecified time between the end of Eiri's engagement and the end of the anime storyline

**RATING: **T for talk of sexy things

**DISCLAIMER: **I take no responsibility for Shuichi's peculiar ideas as to what constitutes a "fantasy."

**NOTES: **This little story started life as a sentence in another story, yet to be posted (mainly because it deals with similar themes to another recently posted story of mine.) It began as one of Eiri's rambles and turned into a story all by itself.

It's a wonder I ever complete the stories I say I'm going to when things like that happen, but I would like to note that the "epilogue" to the Sushi Bar story is finished – it just needs typing up and editing. Not sure whether to post it as a "sequel" or continue it in the same story, but will work that out later.

Will try to update my LJ in the next few days listing what I'm writing… and hope to finally get those damn booklists done as soon as my current writing project is done!

* * *

Yuki Eiri was not usually given to pillow talk. For him, sex was oblivion – mindless pleasure followed by mindless unconsciousness. He always slept better after sexual release.

However, if any of the women he had gone out with passed the acid test – that was to say, if they showed no signs of possessiveness or dependence – he might let them tell him what they liked in bed. He was always willing to learn new tricks, or make use of old ones, as long as they did no damage to his dignity. There was rarely any real danger – the women he chose were always fairly predictable. Perhaps, however subconsciously, that was why he chose them. He quickly grew bored with even the most inventive of them, and perhaps that too was to be expected – sex alone was rarely be the basis for a lasting relationship, and as he had no intention of forming any bonds deeper than sexual gratification with his myriad partners, such relationships were inevitably doomed to a short life.

It really didn't matter – there would always be more, just waiting their turn.

Until Shuichi. Shuichi was something different, in more ways than the obvious matter of his gender. After nearly three weeks of living under the same roof as him, Eiri found him more of an enigma than ever.

That had to be the real reason he had not kicked him out after a week – it was the only reason that made any sort of sense. Once he understood where Shuichi was coming from and what he was about - once he had learned to predict his behaviour, just as he so quickly had with each of his female lovers – then perhaps Eiri could finally get him out of his mind… and out of his life, before any real harm was done.

And after three weeks, it was about time he really set his mind to the task.

Sex seemed a good place to start, not only because they had been having quite a lot of it, but because it was a relatively safe subject.

In most things Shuichi was so stubborn and wilful – he might become contrite when he saw he had pushed someone too far, but he would always take a good crack at getting his own way before he finally gave in. Nobody, it appeared, could make Shindou Shuichi do what he absolutely did not want to do – not even a man like Seguchi Tohma, who had media executives all over Tokyo shaking in their shoes and who Shuichi had apparently idolised for years. Shuichi could be persuaded if he was made to see the logic in something, but never without a struggle.

Yet when it came to sex the young man became curiously submissive – not in some self-consciously kinky servant-master fashion; not even in the stereotypical _seme – uke _way Yuki had vaguely imagined all homosexual relationships to work. But in a manner that was quiet, gentle, shy… and, somehow, uniquely Shuichi. He never objected to anything Eiri did; never said _no_ to what Eiri wanted. Shuichi was so astonishingly honest, so emotionally uninhibited and, as he had already noted, so obstinate, that Eiri was fairly sure he would have protested loudly if there was something he didn't want to do. And he always _seemed_ to be enjoying himself.

But he never actually _asked _Eiri for anything in bed, just as he never really asked for much out of it – the anticipated demands for expensive presents or use of Eiri's influence and connections - especially, in Shuichi's case, where Seguchi was concerned - had never materialised.

Yet there had to be_ something_ he wanted – if money and influence weren't the answer, then what was left besides sex? Only the one thing Shuichi _did _claim he wanted from Eiri – the one thing Eiri did not believe he would ever be able to give him…

Eiri quickly pushed that thought away.

"Hey…" Eiri nudged the sleeping boy with his knee. Shuichi lay next to him curled in a semi-foetal position, facing away but still close against him, his bottom pressed rather pleasantly against Eiri's groin. One of the women Eiri had dated a year or so ago had told him that how a couple slept together in bed was a sign of how solid their relationship was. If they slept back to back, far apart, it was a sign something was wrong. If they slept as he and Shuichi had just been doing – spoon fashion, he had heard it called – it was apparently a sign of trust.

Eiri had rarely slept beside anyone long enough to test the theory, but he had held it in the back of his mind as he did so many other potentially useful scraps of information which might serve some purpose in his writing. It was amazingly easy to delude his millions of readers into believing that his vivid depictions of intense, passionately romantic relationships were drawn from personal experience as long as he used enough imagination and got his facts right.

So Shuichi trusted him…

He pushed that thought aside as well. Shuichi could be annoyingly distracting even when he was unconscious – this was not about love or trust, it was about sex! "Hey…" he whispered again. "Wake up, sleeping beauty…"

Shuichi murmured something and turned over, nuzzling into Eiri. But then a small frown twitched across his smooth features and his eyes fluttered open.

"…Uh…? Did you say something, Yuki…?"

"I said, wake up, stupid."

"Oh…"

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh… sure, Yuki…" Shuichi shifted over onto his back and gazed up at Eiri expectantly. He looked so unnervingly childish with his rosy hair ruffled and his dark blue eyes blinking uncertainly that Eiri could not help reaching out gentle fingers to stroke his cheek.

"I was just wondering… everyone has a fantasy. Something really secret. Something they've always wanted to do. Right?"

"Uh – right," Shuichi's frown deepened and he tilted his head slightly to the side as if viewing Eiri from another angle might help him make better sense of what he wanted.

"So…" Eiri could not help the smallest of smiles forming on his lips, taking comfort from the enveloping shadows. "What's yours?"

"_Yuki…!" _The shadows weren't deep enough to hide Shuichi's blush – Eiri could almost feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. "You can't ask me _that!_ It's too private!"

"_Private?!_ For god's sake, moron, we're naked in bed together after we've just had sex… what's left to keep private?"

"But this is _different!"_ Shuichi insisted, "It's something I've wanted for years, and – and at any rate, that was before I'd met… well… anyway… I'm not telling you. You'd only laugh at me."

"Oh… come on…" Eiri leaned closer, brushing his lips over Shuichi's shoulder. He didn't mind a bit of tender petting if it got him what he wanted, and now he was genuinely intrigued. What could it be? Bondage? Discipline? Uniforms? Role-play? Chocolate body paint? Exhibitionism? Threesomes? Nettle-flogging? _Water-sports?_ (Gods, he hoped not – even Yuki Eiri had to draw the line somewhere.)

"_Yuki..." _Shuichi moaned, as Eiri's hand slid over his belly and downwards, stopping just inches from where he would no doubt find it most agreeable.

"Come on…"

"But I don't see why you'd… _ahhh!"_ Shuichi gasped as Eiri's fingers brushed over him. _"Oooh… yeah, do that again…"_

Eiri withdrew his hand. "Not until you answer my question."

Shuichi whimpered, pawing at Eiri's hand, but when it refused to move he gave a defeated sigh. Curling over onto his side once again, he mumbled something into Eiri's shoulder.

Eiri froze, then shook his head, certain he had heard wrong. _"…what…?"_

Shuichi raised his head defiantly. "I said – _touring with Nittle Grasper!"_

Eiri nearly fell out of bed.

"You see?" Shuichi wailed, "I knew you'd laugh at me!"

"Believe me…" Eiri said when he had finally recovered his voice, "I'm _not_ laughing…"

Only he very nearly was. Shuichi's deepest, most secret, most private fantasy was touring with Nittle Grasper. If he hadn't watched the young vocalist dyeing his hair in the bathroom the other evening, he would almost certainly now be convinced that the pink shade was real and Shindou Shuichi had been abandoned by careless alien parents in a field somewhere outside Tokyo nineteen years ago.

Could the kid really, _really_ have been _that_ innocent the first time Eiri had kissed him? Could he really have been that unaware of his own sexual attraction to another man? Even of his sexual needs in any sense? Had his music really absorbed him so completely?

Then Eiri began to think a little more deeply, and found the urge to laugh die away. His brother Tatsuha might have said something similar in Shuichi's position… only it wouldn't be a stage he would want to share with Sakuma Ryuichi. Tatsuha had always been sexually precocious – he was essentially a woman's man, but the Sakuma thing, however elevated from the rest of his carrying on, had an undeniable element of lust. And Sakuma, for all Eiri considered him an insufferable idiot off stage, was certainly a very sensual, seductive figure when he performed.

He stole a wary look at the youth lying beside him. Shuichi might once have been completely innocent but if so, Eiri had awakened him. And he had met Sakuma since then… and seemed to think that Sakuma liked him…

Eiri didn't think he liked where this might be going. He tried to tell himself that he didn't care – that if in the unlikely event that Shuichi threw him over for Sakuma, Eiri's problems were solved and his distrust of Shuichi's avowals of true love vindicated – but the sudden tightness in his chest and the undeniable heating of his blood belied this.

Still affecting a playful air, he leaned over Shuichi. "So it's Sakuma you fantasise about, is it? And there was me thinking I was the only one who could make you squeal…"

"_Yuki!"_ This time Shuichi seemed genuinely outraged. Eiri actually felt him give a shiver of disgust. _"Don't say that!_ Sakuma-san is like – like my own personal _god!_ You don't – don't do things like we do with a _god!"_

Eiri frowned. _He_ might, if had one. These days he wouldn't know what else to do with one. It wasn't a very cheering thought.

Shuichi appeared to pick up instantly on his darkening mood. "S-sorry, Yuki… I didn't mean… it's not as if I think any less of you because we… I just… well… haven't you ever had anyone like that? Someone you think the world of? Someone you'd do anything to impress, if it would make them like you even just a little?"

Eiri felt his entire body growing cold. He drew back from Shuichi, shifting across the bed and reaching for the cigarette packet on the bedside table. How had they got into _this?_ How did Shuichi manage to _get_ him into situations like this?

Someone he'd thought the world of? Oh yes… once… just once… and never again…

A sudden chill began to creep up his body. He felt his muscles tighten, his heartbeat begin to quicken. He started violently as he felt Shuichi's hand come to rest upon his back. _"Don't!"_

"I – I'm sorry, Yuki…" Shuichi's voice was soft and plaintive and it affected Eiri in a way he could not understand. Without thinking, he turned back and pulled his companion into his arms. Mercifully, Shuichi did not question this sudden display of affection; he simply cuddled close and sighed with what sounded like relief.

Eiri took a deep breath, firmly slamming the lid back on that particular can of worms. They'd drifted far off the point and whosever fault that was, it was time to steer them back to where they had been. It was time for Eiri to take control once more.

"Come on," he said at length, drawing back slightly so that he could look at Shuichi's face, "you must have some fantasy – a sexual fantasy, I mean, idiot, not some childish daydream. Don't you ever fantasise about sex? Isn't there something you really, really want to do in bed?"

"_Oh…!"_ Shuichi gave a sheepish little giggle. "Oh, okay, _I_ get it – I'm sorry, Yuki! Well… I don't know… it's sort of… well… um… I don't know how to… maybe it's easier if I _show _you? Come on, lie back, Yuki… and keep still… no… don't hold onto me…"

With the greatest reluctance, Eiri did as he was told, reminding himself that he had, after all, asked for this, and pushing away a hundred dreadful possibilities of what someone as insane as Shuichi might have in mind.

Smiling fondly at him, Shuichi reached up to stroke his fingers through Eiri's hair, down to the back of his neck. Leaning close, he pressed warm kisses to his cheeks, then his lips, then down across his throat while his hands wandered with slow reverence over his shoulders, exploring the curves of his biceps.

Eiri shifted restively. Though he had to admit he was enjoying Shuichi's caresses, they were quite obviously only the foreplay for… something. When Shuichi shifted further down, apparently with no other intention than to kiss his way along Eiri's collarbone, Eiri finally lost patience. _" – And- ?"_

Shuichi blinked. "And _what, _Yuki?"

"And… what happens next?"

Shuichi gave him a bemused little smile. "Well… nothing. This is it. This is my fantasy!"

Eiri closed his eyes. "So you're saying," he replied slowly and wearily, "that your most secret sexual fantasy is kissing and cuddling with _me."_

"Well – yeah! But just like this, you know, with you letting me do as I like… I mean, I know you've had loads of experience and you probably think it's a bit lame, and it's not anything really kinky like – I don't know – getting tied up or using a whip or – or – playing nude paint-balling like K and his wife…"

"…_what…?"_

"… but… you see… the thing is… there's something about you, Yuki… you're so… I don't know… back to front and inside out…" Shuichi frowned in concentration. "What I mean is, you always behave exactly the opposite way to how I think you're going to… and your body's the same!"

Eiri gazed doubtfully up at him. "Now you've completely lost me. You're saying you like me because I'm contrary?"

"Uh…" Shuichi appeared to consider the word. "No, no I don't think so…"

"Unpredictable, then?"

"No… it's not like that…" Tentatively, Shuichi laid his hand upon Eiri's chest. "It's just… when I first saw you, and saw your white skin, I thought you'd be cold to the touch, like snow, but you're so warm!" He leaned close, inhaling softly. "And… you always act so tough, like you wouldn't care about girly things like grooming, yet you always smell so nice and clean… and you smoke cigarettes and drink beer but when you kiss me…" Shuichi kissed Eiri lingeringly on the lips. "You always taste… sweet! And though you always seem so in control all the time, you're also really sensitive!" Without warning, Shuichi tickled Eiri under the ribs, eliciting a most undignified yelp from his lover which made Shuichi laugh delightedly. "You see?"

"Don't ever do that again…" Eiri growled, catching hold of Shuichi's wrists, "not if you want to see your twentieth birthday…"

"I'm sorry, Yuki," Shuichi answered, biting back an impish grin, the sparkle in his eyes suggesting that he wasn't sorry at all. "I was just demonstrating what I meant… but anyway," he added, sliding downwards and placing his head on Eiri's chest, "you see, though there are times when you're grouchy and I think you hate me, when we… when we're like this… when you put your arms around me… then I _know_ you like me really… and that's the really cool thing about my fantasy – the fact that it's come true! And I can hug you and kiss you as much as I like!"

Chuckling, Shuichi sprang up again and set about smothering Eiri in kisses before slipping his tongue mischievously into Eiri's ear.

Immediately, an electric current seemed to jolt through Eiri's body and he pushed Shuichi roughly away, feeling a wave of anger coursing its way up his body. A fantasy about just being with someone – who had ever heard of such crap? More of Shuichi's damned nonsense about being happy just to be with him – Eiri hadn't believed it when Shuichi had said it for the first time, and he wasn't going to be won over now.

"As much as _I _like, you damned brat," he snarled, "there's a difference, and don't you forget it!"

"But _Yuki!"_ Shuichi protested, apparently stunned by yet another sudden change of mood. "Oh, come on, I was only playing, I didn't mean…" He trailed off as Eiri continued to glare harshly at him through the dusky light. Then he frowned. "You know, Yuki, sometimes you can be a real – "

"_Yes__?"_

For a moment, Shuichi's eyes flashed indignantly. But then he sighed dejectedly and moved to get off the bed. "Forget it. I'm sorry, Yuki…"

"Hey…" Eiri caught his arm, feeling his bad mood melt away as quickly as it had formed. What was it about Shuichi that could make him change his mind so quickly? The sulks he had been able to sustain for days – even weeks – around Mika or Tohma or Mizuki were almost impossible around this little idiot. It was almost as if Shuichi's tendency to sudden and dramatic mood swings was contagious.

But whatever the reason, there seemed very little point in brooding. He had asked and he had got his answer, even if he was now more perplexed than ever and certainly no nearer to understanding Shuichi… or himself, when he was with him.

Besides, that ear-licking thing, much as it drove him mad, really turned him on. "I didn't say I _didn't_ like it… just now…"

"Yuki…?" Shuichi eyed him doubtfully.

Eiri couldn't blame him for being cautious. Unable to suppress a smile, he shifted onto his back once more, gazing up expectantly. "Get on with it, then…"

"_Yuki…?"_

The baffled look on Shuichi's face was enough to stretch Eiri's smile into a grin. "Just for once we'll do it Shuichi-style. Just don't try anything funny… I'm bigger than you."

"_Yuki!" _With a squeal of joy, Shuichi pounced on him once again.

30/12/07 a story formed from one sentence in "Eighth Day."


End file.
